THE TRUTH HURTS


This month is a HUGE month for so many different reasons. There are huge shifts happening, crazy energy and so on. The best thing to do in these times - is let rip with what’s inside of you, shed your skin, release what no longer serves you.

I really don’t journal much at all, I recommend it a lot but I always say, do what works best for you. For me, I just get in a zone, sometimes I'm half asleep, sometimes I'm dreaming, sometimes it’s after a few beers or wines when the words start to flow. However it happens for you, just roll with it, never hold back when that zone hits you. This is where the beauty is. Write it out, let it flow, don't hold back because this is your truth talking!

Let’s talk about speaking your truth. It’s a really hard thing to do sometimes. See, for many years I was always so scared to speak it because when I did, I didn’t get the responses I was after, they were generally negative or I was made to feel like I was not good enough. I’ll repeat the last bit. I WAS NOT GOOD ENOUGH. So much of it though was my own limiting beliefs. When you think shit of yourself, you think everyone else does, even when often they don’t. What I have learnt now after years of healing is that when you think you are not good enough, it’s generally the responses you will get from people. They will trigger the shit out of you, and the reason that happens is so you wake up and go much deeper than what you have.

Now when I speak my truth, I get different responses. Because I believe I am good enough. My past, the dirty secrets, the shame, the guilt – that doesn’t define me as the person I am today. I’m still left with many unanswered questions, ones that used to chew my up inside. But now, I understand that it doesn’t matter if you don’t always get the answers you want, what matters is that you have learnt, grown, you get a deeper understanding and you find it within you, deep within you, to forgive. Forgiveness is fucking hard, it takes so much courage and so much strength to forgive those who have hurt you. To not get answers to something that has caused so much pain in your life, is really fucking hard. For so many years spent trying to find out what the hell was wrong with you, why you felt how you did and you had to dig deep within yourself to find out when others could of really played a huge part in the healing, it hurts. The pain will never disappear fully, it just disintegrates over time, it doesn’t consume you as much, it gets easier because you find understanding, you find forgiveness and you find the courage to not let it define you.

We all go through hardships, some worse than others. Everyone will deal with it in their own way, some handle it better than others. It really doesn’t matter. People will always have their opinions, however if you let their opinions take over your own truth, then that is your choice. Find your power, break down the walls, strip the hurt back, rip open your heart – the power is in there.

Don’t hold back because you are scared of what others will think. Don’t hold back because you think you are not worthy. Don’t hold back because you think you’re not good enough. Don’t hold back because someone tells you to. Own your shit, speak your truth, you are a warrior and when you speak it, know that there are so many others out there who are listening, who are gaining the courage to do the same, who are starting to realise they are not alone, who are starting to believe in themselves, who are broken, who you may just save.

I was once a victim, now I’m a warrior. And so are you. xxx

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